“Anonymous” Pens Thinly Veiled American Idol Backstage Scorcher

[Tusk]

From MJS about a NY Post Article on a book to be released

“Elimination Night” is a new novel written by “Anonymous” that, although the names have been changed (barely) to protect the innocent, is obviously based on American Idol Season 10.

The New York Post serves up the juciest details from the book. Remember, this is a work of fiction. The amount of fact vs fiction is tough to determine here, but the book sure sounds entertaining

Some of the characters described in the book

RANDY JACKSON

“Idol” judge

In the book: JD Coolz, overweight session player and long-running judge on “Project Icon,” who repeats the phrase “booya-ka-ka!” “You’re the American everyman,” a producer tells Coolz. “Fat and ordinary.”

J.LO

Former “Idol” judge, singer and actress

In the book: Bibi Vasquez, “Icon” judge, grew up in Queens, singer and actress though better known for her outrageous outfits and killer assets.

“Every woman in America wanted to be her. Every guy in America wanted to sleep with her . . . The great irony being that Bibi achieved all this without even being able to sing.”



STEVEN TYLER

Former “Idol” judge, lead singer of Aerosmith

In the book: Joey Lovecraft, “Icon” judge, lead singer of Honeyload, has very public weakness for booze, drugs and women. “Joey had out-crazied himself this time: He was barefoot, with a feathered scarf around his neck and what appeared to be a shark’s tooth lodged in his hair.”

RYAN SEACREST

“Idol” host

In the book: Wayne Shoreline, “Icon” host. “The press thinks he’s gay . . . But I doubt it. I don’t think he’s anything. If you pulled down the guy’s pants, the only thing swinging between his legs would be a USB stick.”

A 'Haley' character isn't higlighted in the article, but there is a Scotty character and a character that appears to be a combination of Pia and Karen Rodriquez.

Jimmy Nugget is 18-year-old country yodeler who bears a striking resemblance to “Idol” winner Scotty McCreery, a 17-year-old country boy from North Carolina. But in the book, he has a not-so-hushed-up secret: He sleeps with men.

Real-life contestants Karen Rodriguez — a 21-year-old Manhattanite — and Pia Toscano — a 22-year-old from Howard Beach — seem melded in the book’s Mia Pelosi, who’s blessed with an angelic voice and professional training but cusses like a truck driver. In the book, Mia has done time in juvenile hall for drunk-and-disorderly conduct

Lots of 'juicy' gossip fodder 'based' on Idol's Season 10. Fiction but some of the stuff is pretty funny although there is probably lots of 'fan fiction' that is better.

[john]

From the New York Post:

Insider rips the lid off ‘Idol’
By SUSANNAH CAHALAN
Last Updated: 11:23 PM, December 16, 2012
Posted: 12:49 AM, December 16, 2012
AP
'American Idol' judges Steven Tyler, Jennifer Lopez and Randy Jackson in Feb. 2012
More withering than Simon Cowell, crazier than Paula Abdul — it’s the novel that will have Hollywood on a witch hunt. Who is anonymously exposing the secrets of “American Idol”?

“Elimination Night,” a new novel by a nameless author with “firsthand knowledge of the inner workings of a top TV talent show,” is a thinly-veiled, scathing tell-all of the 10th season of the top-ranked talent show.

That was the first season without co-founder Cowell on the panel and the year Jennifer Lopez and Steven Tyler debuted as judges.

Despite their warm on-air congeniality, the book describes a running backstage feud between two egomaniacs who fight over the sizes of their dressing rooms and who gets announced on air first.

The bigger bombshell is the book’s depiction of producers using a secret rating system to vet contestants before they even make it to the judge’s table and then, as the season progresses, manipulating and even sabotaging the singers they want to see rise or fall.

The book’s narrator is Sasha, a lowly production assistant tasked with corralling the aging and lecherous rocker Joey Lovecraft and the dim-witted diva with the highly prized derriere, Bibi Vasquez.

Though names have been changed and all likenesses are disclaimed as “coincidental,” the similarities to the real show are over-the-top.

Like “Idol,” the book’s “Project Icon” is the nation’s most-watched TV series but in dire straits following the departure of “Mr. Horrible,” a mean-spirited producer and judge who has left to start “The Talent Machine,” a rival show on the same network. (Ring any “X Factor” bells?)

The show desperately needs a big name, so it approaches Vasquez, a Queens-born singer known for outrageous outfits, dating a gun-toting rapper and starring with her then-fiance in a universally panned movie (titled “Jinky” instead of “Gigli”).

She agrees to appear on the show, with a whopping caveat: They must adhere to a 78-page contract rider, which includes:

“Artist’s body to be insured with $1 billion dollar policy in case of injury. (Breasts, buttocks to be valued at $100 million each.)

“Crew to be forbidden to make eye contact with Artist at all times.

“Artist to be provided with chauffeur-driven limo . . . Limo to be a Rolls-Royce Phantom, white. Artist to select driver (male, under 25) from head/torso shots.”

Lovecraft, a 62-year-old, bass-mouthed rock star with a notorious weakness for booze, pills and women, has just had a falling-out with his band, Honeyload. He comes in to meet the producers with two porn stars in tow, on the heels of a rehab stint.

Funny.

http://www.nypost.com/p/news/opinion/boo...rJ21jFasGJ

[My Alter Ego]

From the New York Post:

Insider rips the lid off ‘Idol’
By SUSANNAH CAHALAN
Last Updated: 11:23 PM, December 16, 2012
Posted: 12:49 AM, December 16, 2012
AP
'American Idol' judges Steven Tyler, Jennifer Lopez and Randy Jackson in Feb. 2012
More withering than Simon Cowell, crazier than Paula Abdul — it’s the novel that will have Hollywood on a witch hunt. Who is anonymously exposing the secrets of “American Idol”?

“Elimination Night,” a new novel by a nameless author with “firsthand knowledge of the inner workings of a top TV talent show,” is a thinly-veiled, scathing tell-all of the 10th season of the top-ranked talent show.

That was the first season without co-founder Cowell on the panel and the year Jennifer Lopez and Steven Tyler debuted as judges.

Despite their warm on-air congeniality, the book describes a running backstage feud between two egomaniacs who fight over the sizes of their dressing rooms and who gets announced on air first.

The bigger bombshell is the book’s depiction of producers using a secret rating system to vet contestants before they even make it to the judge’s table and then, as the season progresses, manipulating and even sabotaging the singers they want to see rise or fall.

The book’s narrator is Sasha, a lowly production assistant tasked with corralling the aging and lecherous rocker Joey Lovecraft and the dim-witted diva with the highly prized derriere, Bibi Vasquez.

Though names have been changed and all likenesses are disclaimed as “coincidental,” the similarities to the real show are over-the-top.

Like “Idol,” the book’s “Project Icon” is the nation’s most-watched TV series but in dire straits following the departure of “Mr. Horrible,” a mean-spirited producer and judge who has left to start “The Talent Machine,” a rival show on the same network. (Ring any “X Factor” bells?)

The show desperately needs a big name, so it approaches Vasquez, a Queens-born singer known for outrageous outfits, dating a gun-toting rapper and starring with her then-fiance in a universally panned movie (titled “Jinky” instead of “Gigli”).

She agrees to appear on the show, with a whopping caveat: They must adhere to a 78-page contract rider, which includes:

“Artist’s body to be insured with $1 billion dollar policy in case of injury. (Breasts, buttocks to be valued at $100 million each.)

“Crew to be forbidden to make eye contact with Artist at all times.

“Artist to be provided with chauffeur-driven limo . . . Limo to be a Rolls-Royce Phantom, white. Artist to select driver (male, under 25) from head/torso shots.”

Lovecraft, a 62-year-old, bass-mouthed rock star with a notorious weakness for booze, pills and women, has just had a falling-out with his band, Honeyload. He comes in to meet the producers with two porn stars in tow, on the heels of a rehab stint.

http://www.nypost.com/p/news/opinion/boo...rJ21jFasGJ

Thinly veiled, indeed! Ha! It will be interesting to watch the repercussions of such a "thin disguise."

[Tom22]

Well, maybe there is some scoops we don't know about.

From what read in the whole artificial I think an author with a sense of humor and a desire to try to make a quick buck (or pay the rent even) wouldn't need any inside knowledge to write a book like that.

Just read a few years of MJ rumors and Vote for the Worst rumors and you have plenty to make things up from.

The premise that it is someone inside is really laughable to me. It is possible it is someone inside but I think it's far more likely that it is not someone inside . It would be more interesting if even an outsider got a former employee drunk and got a few extra tibits they pried out near bar closing time.

[john]

Amazon reader review. Amazon "Vine" members get early access to certain books for review purposes.

5.0 out of 5 stars An Eye Opening Read! December 12, 2012
By MooncatX VINE™ VOICE
Format:Hardcover|Amazon Vine™ Review (What's this?)
I wasn't sure I'd like it at first, because I think tv shows like Idol and X-Factor are a bit cheesey and don't really watch them except for the actual music performances which I do enjoy. But this book which thinly spoofs the shows with Project ICON and The Talent Machine, has a deviously dark comedy edge as we follow Sasha King, renamed BILL by her boss (her predecessor's name) so he won't have to make any adjustments and to drive home how expendable she is, as she works behind the scenes of Project Icon in its iffy 12th season. Their celebrity and ratings magnate judge Nigel Crowther has jumped ship to helm his own show The Talent Machine and Sasha must ride herd on the replacement judges, mega stars like legendary rock and roller Joey who is in his 60s but still scoring with hot young women, and divatastic Bebe Vasquez who is determined to outshine Joey and use the show to reconnect with her audience by becoming more human and accessible.

I don't want to get too spoilery. But the book is eye opening in just all the simple petty EVIL things that go on in the making of these shows, and I really hope this isn't what does go on backstage. But the book has whimsy, and Sasha is endearing in a puppy dropped into a shark tank sort of way. We really hope the sharks are not gonna rip the puppy to shreds, but expect blood in the water. Whether Sasha and Project Icon will sink or swim is the meat of the story, and it's pretty interesting. A good read, kept me glued to the page till the end.

http://www.amazon.com/Elimination-Night-...0547942079

[Miguel]

There are two Amazon Vine reviews now. The second also gives it 5/5 stars. The reviewer describes himself as an "aficionado of reality television."

The book is not just fluff. The characters ring true.

I was surprised to find this is a real book that clocks in at 304 pages. 100,000 copies for first printing.

Publishers Weekly:

The transparency of the book’s American Idol characterization is annoying and uninspired. Attempts throughout at satire, not only of television and reality television but also of corporate and American culture (a big corporation is called “The Big Corporation,” for instance) fall flat. The odds that this book will be eliminated in the first round are high.

Excerpt from Kirkus description:

The novel’s impersonation of Steven Tyler’s verbal gymnastics is so dead-on, so charmingly nutty, kudos are in order. Bibi Vasquez (the JLo stand-in) comes off less attractively—as a driven, foulmouthed hunter, out for blood, even if she’s not sure why. The most sneering portrait is reserved for the show’s host, Wayne Shoreline, a workaholic sociopath who is sexually neutral and whose culinary tastes are satisfied at the pet store. Occasionally, Sasha has a few moments to devote to a personal life: trying to reconnect with her stoner boyfriend in Hawaii, working on her novel (which consists of deleting most of the first paragraph) and even finding happiness tentatively with an LA guy, found by her nosy Russian landlord. But of course, even Sasha knows her life pales under the starlight of the Icon universe, what with the drugs, the sex and the scandal lurking at every turn. Anyone who has ever watched American Idol, and that will be almost everyone, will have the immense satisfaction of the “inside scoop,” real or not.

Excerpts from LA Weekly review":

After reading the whole thing, we're going to go with a combination thereof: We suspect the writer had some level of access at Idol. But the Great American Novel this ain't. Frankly, the most interesting (perhaps the only interesting) thing about this book is trying to figure out what pieces could possibly be true. Is J. Lo a self-absorbed ninny? We're buying it. Is there "an unsettling ... femininity about" Simon Cowell? [I think they mean Ryan Seacrest] OK, we buy that, too.

...READ THIS IF ... You either love reality TV, or you work in the business. Or maybe you're just looking for a lazy hangover read and you're not particularly choosy. We will admit that this book grew on us -- we meant to give up after the first couple of chapters, but somehow, we read the whole damn thing.

...A KEY QUOTE ... "This week, we're going to use N for a definite 'yes, they'll go on to Hollywood,' X for a maybe, and Y for a categorical 'no, but the kid looks like a crier or a psycho, so roll the cameras.' And remember: NEVER explain this to anyone. ... Another thing. If someone has a good gimmick - y'know, dying kid, mom in prison, amusing facial tic -- put a star in the top right corner."

The Daily Mail gives us this:

To increase on-screen drama, and to make it look as natural as possible, producers manipulate contestants before they perform with the strategy: 'Tell the singer the very opposite of the truth.'

If the contestant is a wonderful singer, the producers tell them to prepare for the fact they probably will not move on to the next round.

But if a singer is terrible, producers puff up their confidence. The book says this screening process makes the final outcome, and the contestants fate, all the more cinematic.

Meanwhile the star judges are taught to give the most talented contestants plenty of negative signals, such as shaking their heads during the audition process, to add to the tension.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/articl...-Idol.html

Hmm, they apparently picked that up from The New York Post, which also gives us this:

After the auditions are done, during the high-stakes Hollywood performances, the elaborate backstories contestants tell about the song they’re about to sing are almost always ghostwritten, the book says.

Contestants who aren’t producer favorites are sabotaged with mind tricks and steered into making poor song choices that could result in their elimination.

http://www.nypost.com/p/news/opinion/boo...21jFasGJ/2

[Tom22]

If you've been reading about idol for the last 4 or 5 years all that dirt has been out there..

Vote for the worst has been a particularly useful site although MJ has also reported it frequently

A lot of it is from past contestants, but there have been other kiss off books from x empoyees


Nigel himself (producer) is on record via tweet saying that it would be a boring show if they picked all the best singers they could find to have on the show and bring to the finals. They purposely bring in fodder to be eliminated so what they think is most marketable and the best story will be anointed after a worthy appearing struggle.

There are plenty of heavy african american women that can sing the pants off some of the kids they put on the show but they're afraid voters will keep them around voting on merit.

[Outcast]

If you've been reading about idol for the last 4 or 5 years all that dirt has been out there..

Vote for the worst has been a particularly useful site although MJ has also reported it frequently

A lot of it is from past contestants, but there have been other kiss off books from x empoyees

Oh and let's not forget TMZ who get their scoop directly from Nigel.

[Miguel]

There are now 17 reviews for the book. An average of 4 stars.

Excerpt from one:

... to whomever wrote this book, the contestants were helpless cattle, herded to slaughter. There is so much humor in what contestants sing and say on that show. Instead, we were back with the producers. Only one auditioner was profiled at all, and only one finalist, who was manipulated into dressing provacatively to boost ratings, said anything by way of dialog. What's worse, "Anonymous" callously outed an underage contestant. The author changes a few details, but it's painfully clear who she's talking about, and I don't think that's fair or right.